My wife and I were able to fade and our family still talks to us but it's a touch and go situation. We have to tiptoe our way around, making sure not to offend their JW sensibilities or the pretense that they have JW sensibilities. They are a loving wonderful family but out of loyalty to the organization, have pulled the plug on many former JW family members for decades. A few have gone to their graves without ever speaking again to people they still really loved and cared about.
My wife has family members in Bethel that we get together with when they visit and they seem to understand our circumstances and our beef with the organization and the doctrinal changes of late. They've indicated that there are those in Bethel with the same concerns.
We have family members in their 20's 30's 40's and 50's who've been excluded by the JW family since they were teenagers because they were baptized young but left the organization formally via DA letters rather than fading. Between these family members there are 6 children who have never met their Regular Pioneer grandparents, or their many Cousins , Aunts and Uncles. Including the JW children , there are 20 some cousins who've never met each other even though they live within a 15 minute drive from one another.
One Elder JW Uncle and his wife have 6 kids and 5 grandchildren. Two of the kids are serving where the need is great but 3 of the kids and 4 of the grandchildren are "out" . They tell people they only have 3 kids and 2 grandchildren. At one family occasion a bunch of the relatives were sitting around and a older Non JW Aunt asked the JW grandparents what the name of their new grandson. It was revealed in the conversation that they didn't know any of their non JW grandchildren's names . This older aunty proceeded to scold them in front of the whole family. It was an awkward but awesome moment.
As far as JW friends go, as soon as we stopped going to meeting, they disappeared ...our phone stopped ringing. We seen them around once in awhile and they are as nice as ever but there's an invisible but detectable wall. Most seem surprised that we haven't grown horns and our lives haven't become a train wreck. Others have seen us in a store and quickly changed aisles to avoid having to talk. It was laughable.
As far as I can see, as long as you play the game, JW's are able to rationalize their way around the shunning policy and be ok about it, but if they were asked point blank, they'd agree that anyone who leaves the organization, whether formally or by fading, should not be associated with.
